BENNY MABEZA ON TEST BROADCAST - Lagay ng Panahon

Lagay ng Panahon

ONE YEAR OF BLOGGING

1st December 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. It’s been a year now, since I posted my first blog and I am very delighted to see that my blogs have found the interest of viewers from nearly all over the globe! From Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, and the North America. I am now looking forward to have some readers also from the South America and Antarctica (if there are netizens there).

As I am celebrating the first year anniversary of blogging, I have the flair to share jokes, as I believe a good laugh can make your day. Indeed, laughter is truly a healthy exercise.

Thus, let me share with you some of the jokes I have collected and/or written in my previous Tag-lish Journal, “Ang Buhay nga Naman”, some of which were originally written in Tagalog, and I endeavor to translate them in English for your reading pleasure.

Sayings about Future

There’s this saying in the Philippines: “Ang taong hindi marunong lumingon sa pinang-galingan hindi raw makararating sa paroronan.” Mali, kung wala lang pamasahe. [“One who never looks back from his beginning will never get to his destination”. False, only if you don’t have the money to pay the fare.]

“Samantala, ang taong lumalakad kadalasan ay walang pamasahe”. Hindi bat tama?" [More often than not, one who walks has no money to pay the fare. Is it not correct?]

“Noong student pa lang what he needs is “pamasahe”, now that he has a job, he needs “pa-masahe”. ["When still a student he needs allowance to pay his “fare"; now that with a job, what he need is a "massage".]

Five (5) Ways to get Rich

This is interesting and here the tips:

1. You born with it. - Yes some are very lucky to be born with a golden spoon. But if you didn’t, there is nothing to worry because there are 4 more ways. 

2. You work for it. – This is challenging and rewarding - to reap the fruits of your labor. But if your salary is not that much, why not try the 3 other ways available. 

3. You can marry it. – You can find a spouse, who is rich and old and will die soon. Otherwise, you may try below.

4. You can win it. Yes you can bet in the Lotto and if lucky you could be a millionaire! Just make sure you have the money to bet. And lastly, 

5. You steal it. Only as a last resort but don’t get me wrong, it is not advisable, illegal and punishable by law if you got caught! You may end up in jail, nevertheless, it is full board and lodging plus free massage!

Who has the higher Rank?

For the couple who has the higher rank? Basically it depends in the scope of works assigned and decision-making roles.

Of course it is the Husband who is the “General” - a person of great importance huh? Reason, he is the one making the general decisions – for example, he decides what the main dish for the day or who will wash the dishes thereafter.

What about the Wife? She is just a “Major”! Do you think it is lower in rank? No, because she’s the one who make the major decisions all the time!

Japanese Lesson!

You want more? How do you say it in Japanese? Simple: "Isapane".

Mother's Milk

Breast milk best for babies and for daddies too!

The Fashion Before & the Next Trend

Filipinos are known for being conservative especially in their clothing. In the early days, Filipinas were conservatively clothed and their skirts’ length are up to their heels (floor length)! At that time, it would be indecent showing the legs in public. Thus everything is covered and not much skin can be seen. It would not be even right for a boyfriend to see the legs of his girlfriend; otherwise he would be held responsible.

But as the time passed by, the practice has changed, as well as the fashion. The trend was that, little by little, the length of the female skirts have been shortened. Initially, the skirts were tailored below the knee, called the "maxi". Later on, it was shortened just by the knee and called "midi". The boys liven up, I mean delighted with the developments.

As the years go by, the skirts’ length was shortened further and the fashion was called "mini", which is already above the knee, the “mini” turned to "mini-mini", and then "micro-mini". Finally, the most awaited, the "bikini" was accepted.

And you know my friends, what would be the next trend this millennium? It is simpler since there will be no more bikinis just "ini” [just it, nothing else]! So watch out closely….. LOL!

In the Accounting profession, I think it is called “Adequate Disclosure”.

Which style of skirt’s slit catches attention?

What is the meaning when the slit of the woman’s skirt is in the back? "Hey, Man follow me."

What if the slit of the skirt is on the side? "Hey, Man please escort me."

Finally, what about if the slit of the skirt is in the front? "Hey Man grab me!"

Answering Machines

The following are pretty unique recorded automatic telephone replies, in real life. 

"My wife and I cannot come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.”

"Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!"

Consent is Vital

I remember this story about a law professor defining "Rape" case during a criminal law subject, under the laws of the Philippines.

"If a man had sex with a woman who is a minor with or without her consent it is Rape! 

Also, if a man had sex with a woman who is of a major age without her consent it is Rape!

However, if a man had sex with a woman who is of a major age with her Consent then it’s ‘Merry Christmas’. It feels good to do it again!

It is better to give than to receive

Yes, a few sleeps and it’s Christmas again. It is the time to give love and presents, and surely it is better to give than to receive.

The rule, however, does not apply in the military. Because if it does “You’re dead! Nonetheless, in the spirit of Christmas there is always a cease-fire during the Yuletide period. 

Traditionally, Christmas for Filipinos is a family event. During this time, relatives visit each other and for sure many are expecting Christmas gifts, especially from those who arrive from abroad. Well it is OK since it only occurs once a year.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year!

BLMabeza is fond of reading and sharing jokes.

10 POINTS TO MAINTAIN A FRIENDSHIP

13^th November 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I was so happy yesterday on the occasion of my birthday. My family, relatives, and a lot of friends cheer with me, sent greetings and best wishes, which I greatly appreciate!

As I was surfing the web today, I came across again of this article written by an unknown author about maintaining a friendship (in fact there are so many entries on the subject), and I feel sharing it with you all.

1. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN GIVE TO A FRIEND, NOT WHAT YOU CAN GET OUT OF A FRIENDSHIP. - If being happy is your only motive for wanting someone to be your friend, then you are not being a real friend. Don't get caught up in keeping tabs on who has given most in the friendship. Give to your friends regardless of how much they give to you.
2. ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIEND. - Real friends inspire and push each other to be the best that they can be, rather than drag each other down. They are happy when other people achieve their goals.
3. BE WILLING TO FORGIVE. - Don't let hurt turn to grudge. This is one sure way to destroy a friendship. Forgive your friend and move on.
4. TACTFULLY POINT OUT THEIR MISTAKES. - This is one way to show concern for others. If you really care, you will tactfully point out a specific example for his own good. But once you've brought the problem to your friend's attention, don't harp on it all the time. Don't walk away from a friendship when you see some of your friend's faults. Be patient with a friend as he or she tries to change. Realize that nobody is perfect
5. BE RELIABLE. - When you say you are going to be there, be there.
6. DON'T TRY TO CONTROL YOUR FRIENDS. - Real friendship does not mean you always have to be together. It may be tempting to have a fun person all to yourself, and feel threatened when your friend ends time with others. If you are afraid to let your friends out of your sight, you are probably afraid of losing them. Good friendship will endure time spent apart. You and your friends may learn to appreciate each other even more.
7. BE THERE FOR THE GOOD AND THE BAD TIMES. - Celebrate with them if your friends are excited about something. But don't be there just for the good times. When your friend is upset about something, give them your full attention. Most of the time, what friends really need is a sympathetic ear, someone who understands their feelings.
8. LEARN TO ACCEPT PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES IN YOUR FRIENDS. - Be careful not to evaluate other people by how you react in a particular situation. Do not automatically take your friends' behavior personally.
9. DON'T BE A BLABBER MOUTH. - Learn and be willing to keep each other's secrets.
10. DON'T LET ARGUMENTS DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIP. - Suppose you're having a discussion with a friend and after you've said what you think is true, they still disagree. Don't keep arguing until you get mad with each other. Just drop it. Your desire to win the argument may ruin your friendship.

Follow the above steps and for sure you will have a good and lasting relationship with all of your friends.

Remember to appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few! Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older. Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.

Until then, my friendly regards.

BLMabeza is a netizen.

RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD

Responsible Parenthood

1 November 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Hello my dear Readers.  Whew! I have been busy attending to certain client’s engagements in the past few months; hence unable to write new articles to upload in my blog page.  Though, I still had time to read Philippines’ newspapers online, watch news on TV at nights and keep me up abreast of the latest events. Also, I have been monitoring the development on the “Reproductive Health Bill (RH Bill)” currently being debated in the Philippine’s congress, which is faced by opposing opinions across the various sectors, the Pros and Cons.

Yesterday, my attention was caught by this demographic milestone that our Mother Earth’s population has reached the 7 Billion mark! The thought of seven billion people inhabiting the planet boggles the mind, particularly when one considers that the Philippines, where joblessness and poverty are the norm in a vast swath of the population, contributes as much as 94.9 million to the figure.

Based on my internet research on the countries ranking in the top 10 in terms of both total population (more than 15 million people) and population density (more than 250 people per square kilometre), I found out that Philippines ranked number 4  with nearly 95 million, at 313  people per square kilometre, and is rated as a fast growing country.

Is this good or bad? Will the “Reproductive Health Bill” be the answer?  This RH Bill is a very hot issue of today which involves two powerful institutions, our Government and the Catholic Church.

The Government is pushing the RH Bill for the sake of helping less-fortunate segment of our society. The Pros says that the reproductive health (RH) bill promotes information on and access to both natural and modern family planning methods, which are medically safe and legally permissible. It assures an enabling environment where women and couples have the freedom of informed choice on the mode of family planning they want to adopt based on their needs, personal convictions and religious beliefs.

The RH Bill will let couple (husband and wife) choose the perfect family planning method, whether artificial or natural birth control. On the other hand, the Catholic Church and related Associations are firmed with their stand about this issue, “No to RH Bill”. They condemned the artificial method because they believe that some of the listed contraceptives on the RH Bill are immoral which are more likely as an abortion.

As a concerned Filipino citizen, I would like to share my thoughts on this issue too, which I understand delicate and may not be like by some, particularly the Catholic Church, where I still belong.  In doing so, please note that I have considered certain views I have gathered during my research and my previous religious activities I participated in. 

The Freedom to Choose

When I was still in college, in search of truth and without my parents knowing it, I explored other religious denominations, i.e., Atheists, Muslim and other Christian sects. I did attend some religious doctrination and Bible studies too.

In one of those Bible studies, we read in the Book of Genesis, about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil or the tree of knowledge, a tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden. God directly forbade Adam (Eve having not yet been created) to eat the fruit of this tree. A serpent tempted Eve, who was aware of the prohibition against eating the forbidden fruit of the tree of knowledge. The serpent had suggested to Eve that eating the fruit would bestow wisdom upon them. Eve and then Adam ate the forbidden fruit, and they became aware of their nakedness. After confronting their disobedience, God banished the couple from the garden in order to deny them access to the Tree of Life, which would have bestowed immortality onto them. God cursed both the snake and the ground, obliging Adam to survive through agriculture "by the sweat of his brow." He told the woman that her childbirth pains would be greatly increased and that the man would rule over her. God set guards (Cherubim) at the east side of the garden to protect the way to the tree of life from Adam, Eve, and their descendants.

The Preacher asked me to share my thoughts on the passage we have read. Then I said: “Shouldn’t we be grateful to the Serpent, had not of the suggestion, maybe we are still in the Garden of Eden, all naked! Here we are, well dressed and have freedom to choose -- which is good or bad for us. Is God really selfish to restrict us to know what is good and evil?”

The Preacher replied, “We’ll it is written and thus came to pass -- destined as God’s Plan, where I objected, saying, “If that the case, then Life would be meaningless, if all scripted and destiny.” Nonetheless, I believe and still maintain as of today that it is God’s will that we should have the freedom to choose.

Those who are opposing the RH Bill refer to the "Go forth and multiply" credo of the Catholic Church, which is a passage in the Bible and I quote: “And God blessed them; and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

The Credo served it well in centuries past when the earth's population was small and all manner of resources were in abundance. Today, the entire planet is in peril, and the Philippines in particular is rapidly slipping into the status of a third-world state. Most of its urban poor live in shanties that have no running water or toilets.

I understand that Natural family planning (NFP) methods are the only approved by the Catholic Church. In accordance with the Church's requirements for sexual behaviour in keeping with its philosophy of the dignity of the human person, natural family planning methods exclude the use of other methods of birth control.

Periodic abstinence and the natural infertility caused by breastfeeding are the only methods deemed moral by the Church for avoiding pregnancy. When used to avoid pregnancy, NFP limits sexual intercourse to naturally infertile periods; portions of the menstrual cycle, during pregnancy, and after menopause. Various methods may be used to identify whether a woman is likely to be fertile; this information may be used in attempts to either avoid or achieve pregnancy.

The central argument in the basic Church doctrine against the use of contraceptives is that the Church has a privileged knowledge of natural law, and that the use of contraceptives violates this law since it prevents sex from undertaking its “natural function” of procreation.

However, the above methods have the highest failure rates.  Furthermore, I think Sex is not only meant for procreation but for the couple to enjoy the most of it within the bounds of marriage. We should be thankful that the God in his kindness designed Sex to feel good, but the natural law should be complied with, apparently.

As for me, I would prefer that the Church leaves it to the couples to decide on the method to use.  The Church with their clergies or priests don’t have experience and may not be in the position to advise, particularly what do in the bedroom on the first place. Can they really control the couple when the wife on her fertile days not to have sex with the husband? I don’t think so.  Needless to say, few of them (clergies or priests) can’t even control their own sexual urges; see those reported cases of sexual advances committed by priests or those who cohabit with mistresses and had sex against their own teaching.

I do believe that Life begins at conception, not birth. Hence, as long as the contraception methods used are not abortifacient then I guess they’re alright.  No conception no abortion.

I agree and to be sure, children occupy the highest rung of delight on the family scale, particularly in our country where the birth of a child is generally welcomed for a variety of reasons—as a blessing from the divine, an affirmation of the couple’s ability to reproduce (especially, in these sexist parts, the man’s virility), a guarantee of the clan’s continuity, and, in the lower-income strata, a promise of another pair of hands to help in the livelihood.

However, we should be all diligent to consider if we have to keep multiplying beyond our means.  Just take a look at the scarcity of resources: not enough classrooms, not enough agricultural produce, dwindling seafood sources, continuous destruction and unabated rape of our natural resources, increasing ignorance of people, imbalance in the sharing between human and animal habitat, dwindling supply of water to drink, disappearing agricultural lands, and many more.

Unfortunately, man cannot report back to God now: “Umm, Lord, we enjoyed multiplying so much that we are seven billion now, and we are just multiplying the poor and human misery. Can we at least slow down this multiplying now?”

For those who say that it is OK to continue to multiply, I could say they sure don't have their feet on the ground. If we want our children to inherit a better century than our own, we owe it to our own children to help restore worldwide respect for the intrinsic dignity and incomparable worth of the human person.  We must affirm the founding truth our civilization: that each of us is made in the image and likeness of God.

I believe God would not be happy to see mankind suffering due to overpopulation.

Until then my humble regards. 

BLMabeza is a concerned citizen.

PRAY WHEN YOU NEED HELP

26 February 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. This time, I would like to share a story I have written in the past and lifted from my previous Taglish [mixed Tagalog & English] Journal entitled “Ang Buhay nga Naman” [“Oh it’s Life” in English].

This was originally written in Tagalog (the language from which the Filipino national language is based) when I was in high school but was not published as it was rejected by the editor of our school organ then. Well, here is the English translation of the story…

Original Title:  “ANG BABOY NI JUAN” [The Juan’s Pig Story]

It was rainy season in the Philippines and time for the expected devastation from the storms and typhoons; I always remember this story of our neighbour. 

One day a super typhoon hit the Bicol Region and consequently the pig’s cage of our neighbour, Juan, was destroyed and his domesticated pig got lost.

The next day, after the weather calmed down, Juan immediately searched for his lost pig, asking the neighbours on his way. But some time had passed and he still couldn’t find his pig. He passed by the Chapel and there he prayed. "Virgin Mary, please help me find my lost pig."

Thereafter, he continued the search. But it was already late in the afternoon and no sign of his pig. "Oh what a Shit Pig!" he said in dismay and gradually lost hope. Once again, he returned to the chapel and prayed. This time he prayed: "Virgin Mary if I find my lost pig, I will sell it and donate the proceeds to the Chapel.”, and then he humbly headed out of the Chapel.

As he was walking just outside the Chapel, lo and behold, his lost pig appeared just in front of him. He was so happy then, but immediately remembered what he has just promised to the Virgin Mary.

He took the pig home. His son welcomed him, “Oh! Father you found our pig.” Juan replied: “Yes, my son but it’s not ours anymore. I have just committed that (pig) to the Virgin Mary; I will sell the pig and donate the sales proceeds to the Chapel. By the way, I’m going to sell our cat too.”

The son was so surprised and wondered. "Who would buy that cat?" the son murmured (as there are a lot of stray cats in Bicol and definitely cats are not saleable).

Hauling the pig and cradled the cat, Juan peddled them to the neighbourhood market place. He shouted "Pig for sale!"

A buyer asked: "How much?", "Oh it’s cheap", Juan replied, "Only Five Pesos (P5.00)” [which is equivalent to US twenty five cent only at that time]. “Ok”, the buyer said, thinking this seller must be idiot! "What just five pesos?" reconfirmed the buyer. "Yes, but on one condition”, Juan replied. “What's that?” questioned the buyer. “You have to buy my cat also", Juan replied and the Buyer asked again "So how much?", "One thousand Pesos (P1,000.00).” [about US$50.00 that time], replied Juan. As the buyer thought it’s a good deal he said: “Oh, okay I take them all." They closed the deal and paid out.

True to his promise, Juan went back to the Chapel, prayed and thanked the Virgin Mary, "Thank you very much Virgin Mary for helping me. Here is Five Pesos for you."

(Moral of the story, pray and your prayer will surely be answered, but never break your promise.)

Until next time, I hope you enjoyed reading. 

BLMabeza is originally from the Bicol Region where most of the storms and typhoons that hit the Philippines land fall.

FIVE SIMPLE RULES TO BE HAPPY

14^th February 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I am very happy reading the statistics of my initial blog last December 2010; my blog is being viewed globally i.e. in Vietnam, United States, Canada, Macau, Malaysia, United Arab Emirates, Australia, Switzerland, Japan and of course the Philippines.


It gives me great pleasure and I appreciate very much the comments received and those who liked the posting in my Facebook account. It is very encouraging... thus here I am again to share my thoughts with you.

As an accountant allow me to analyze the typical daily activities of a person in a significant manner and in terms of numbers and figures and events, and interpret the result thereof.

Do you know that during a 24-hour everyday cycle one will normally spend 8 hours to sleep, at least 8 hours to either work or study, thus leaving only 8 hours to be happy?  I would categorize a person’s major activities as follow: (i.) sleeping, (ii.) studying or working, and (iii.) activities to be happy.

 

According to my research in the Internet, I was led to believe that in the Philippines the male’s life expectancy could extend to over 60 years on the average; while the female’s is somehow longer to around 70 years. Well, I don’t know exactly what the reasons for the difference between the opposite sex.

To extrapolate, by using the above data, where 8 hours for each major activity as fraction of a day represents one third (1/3) thereof, you could conclude that a Filipino during his life expectancy, is sleeping for 20 years, studying and working for 20 years, and with only 20 years or even less to be happy. Lucky for the Filipina would have much longer chance to be happy.

In theory, you can compute your remaining time to be happy by using the following formula:  Average life expectancy less your present age and multiply the difference by 1/3 equals the number of remaining years to be happy.  Now that you know, you could spend it more wisely.

Please note however that the time available for you to be happy is in a fact also being diminished by some other unwanted things, e.g. the time you spent in horrendous daily traffic!  One could be stuck-in traffic for say two hours daily in going to and back from work.   It may be further reduced if after working hours, you argue or quarrel with your friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, and then you are pissed off.

But exactly how can we be happy?  There are five very simple rules and I owe it to an unknown author, whose article I have read for the first time when I was an undergrad. I liked it so much that I jotted it down in my notes at the time; in that day and age there was no Microsoft Office yet, hence no “copy and paste”. I understand the same article is now available in the worldwide web, but let me save you the time of finding it and share it with you.

 

“The Five Simple Rules To Be Happy

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on! When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you. When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard. You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth. The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, and you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses. Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.  

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!  Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply

4. Give more.

5. Expect less."

           

I trust the above rules make sense to all of you.

Remember that no one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. 

As an accountant I may put it this way: “Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have; so spend it wisely.”

I have shared the message and I will be back to write more…

Until then have a great day, week or month!

B L Mabeza is a former practicing external auditor in the Philippines.