14th
February 2012, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I have just
came back to the beautiful Saigon. I had my vacation in Manila, Philippines and
also visited my home town. During my
short vacation, I did a little research and wrote a new article for posting during
this month of love, February.It is all about the importance of "Touching".
Knowing how to touch other people
How touchy-feely are you? Are you a hugger? Or a cold fish? The skin is our biggest organ, and with over five million sensory receptors, our sense of touch is massively important to us.
The act of touching is perhaps the most important means of communication, whether it’s between lovers, parents and children, friends or colleagues.
Sex with a new lover can sometimes end up in hopeless fumbling. How can somebody so good-looking, sweet and entertaining not have the faintness idea once we are between the sheets? And why do we have so much difficulty expressing clearly how we want to be touched? Perhaps chemistry is not quite up to scratch, but there is something else going on as well. If you don’t read the signals your partner is giving and are not able to communicate what you enjoy, it’s a lost cause. It is all about knowing how to touch other people, i.e., physical intelligence. Physical intelligence does not just play a part when sex is involved, it affects all kinds of human relationships.
Five Million Feelers
According to my research, the skin is the body’s largest organ and is brimming with sensitive receptors that are in direct contact with the nervous system. There are five thousand receptors in your fingertips alone. Another five million are spread over the rest of your body. Every touch gives you a sensation, be it positive or negative. For example, a welcome hand on your shoulder helps your relax, but if you accidentally touch someone in an elevator, then your muscles automatically become tense and you avoid eye contact.
We are, in short, very sensitive creatures with sophisticated response mechanisms – even our language reflects the importance of touch: we say we are “in touch with things,” we “feel our way through”, situation that are “touch and go”, we even “put our feelers” to test the state of affairs.
Physical Contact is Healthy
If you were cuddled frequently in your childhood, chances are you are better at hugging and touching and therefore better at sustaining friendship and romantic relationships. Physical contact creates a connection and can intensify experience. Just a quick stroke of the hand can already do the trick. Psychological experiments have demonstrated that if you touch somebody, albeit briefly, that person will have a more positive view of you. He will also be more honest with you.
Furthermore, physical contact is healthy. It lowers stress levels, eases depression and pain, strengthens the auto-immune system and reduces the risk of heart and vascular disease. Everything seems to flourish under the influence of a touch. Millions of receptors in your skin directly linked to the central nervous system stimulate the brain to produce endorphins, which give you a feeling euphoria. Frequent and desired physical contact is relaxing and makes you stronger, both mentally and physically. A welcome bonus is that it also does wonders for your looks. If you’re feeling good, you’re looking good.
Who to touch and in what manner depends on personality, sex culture, education and situation. On meeting, some people like to rub their hand gently over your back, while other stick to just shaking hands. In some Asian cultures, people don’t touch at all (but in the Philippines it is all right). Physical behavior differs from one person to another and is bound by stringent rules. That makes it rather complicated.
Christian morality says it is a sin to enjoy something and the reward for self-control will come after on. People confuse intimacy with sex. Shaking hand is just about where the line is drawn. Physical contact is the exclusive domain of the partner.Out of Bounds
The social rules regarding who may touch where and when depend on the type of relationship. It goes without saying that a father may touch his daughter’s hands; reaching her shoulder or head is less accepted and the rest of her body is out of bounds. Physical contact is more accepted in regard to mothers, but again, feet, legs and chest area can be a touchy subject. Girlfriend are allowed to touch hands and forearms and, to a lesser extent, the upper arm, shoulder and legs. Again, the rest of the body is out of bounds. Naturally, couples enjoy more freedom in touching each other, but they too are not allowed to touch each other without limitation, regardless of time or place.
Although kissing is a very intimate form of touching, it is not exclusive domain of couples. It is striking that the less kisses you give, the more intimate they become. A mother will usually give her child one kiss, the same goes for couples. Instead of a handshake, an acquaintance or stranger will sometimes be kissed three times on the cheeks. And it is the third kiss that keeps someone at arm’s length.
Top Heavy
Men often suffer from a focus on the analytical part of the brain. Sometimes they are not aware of their inhibitions and shy away from physical contact.
Fact is that both men and women cannot live without physical contact. It is just more easily accepted with regard to women. They are more used to touching others and to being touched from an earlier age, and are often raised to be more considerate of others. What’s more, women generally have command of finer voluntary movements.
Boys don’t have to act tough all the time anymore. Sex as a goal, the prize worth winning, was once part of the myth of manhood, but not touching or caressing. Nowadays, it’s a different matter. Men and women have become more equal, which gives men the charge to relax.
Feedback
Sensitivity and empathy are what it is all about where physical intelligence is concerned, and quite after this precisely what is lacking. To really show interest in somebody else is an art and a lot of people don’t have the patience or the desire. You have to be able to read the signals (and they can be really subtle), take them seriously and act accordingly. Physical intelligence has to do with not overstepping a limit. Even it’s not your strong point, it can be learned. That trick is to be open. Ask for feedback and don’t be afraid to hear that something is unpleasant. Part of the trick is being able to talk about touching and being clear about what you want. Why should you be allowed to ask for an arm around you if you need one? Or to say that you don’t need that arm right now.
If your lover is not able to sense what you enjoy or need, you could just throw in the towel. But you could try talking about it. The only problem is that a lot of people still feel uncomfortable about it. Fumbling during sex often has to do with women being shy about giving directions and with men being shy about asking for them. But if you keep on having to say: a bit more to left, a bit more to the right, up, down you won’t be in the mood anymore. So it is important to try to read your partner non-verbal signs.
And finally
The importance of touching is beyond dispute. The fact is that man is a social animal and will always look for physical contact. When people flirt, they are usually very good at touching, but once they’ve hauled in the loot, they tend to forget. But we all go weak at the knees if our partner brushes our fingers for a second or two when handing over a drink.
No matter how fleeting the touch may be, it is important to cherish physical contact. Not just within a relationship, but with others too. It makes you healthy, happy and beautiful, and life becomes a lot more of fun.
I trust you enjoy reading and wish you enjoy touching!
Knowing how to touch other people
How touchy-feely are you? Are you a hugger? Or a cold fish? The skin is our biggest organ, and with over five million sensory receptors, our sense of touch is massively important to us.
The act of touching is perhaps the most important means of communication, whether it’s between lovers, parents and children, friends or colleagues.
Sex with a new lover can sometimes end up in hopeless fumbling. How can somebody so good-looking, sweet and entertaining not have the faintness idea once we are between the sheets? And why do we have so much difficulty expressing clearly how we want to be touched? Perhaps chemistry is not quite up to scratch, but there is something else going on as well. If you don’t read the signals your partner is giving and are not able to communicate what you enjoy, it’s a lost cause. It is all about knowing how to touch other people, i.e., physical intelligence. Physical intelligence does not just play a part when sex is involved, it affects all kinds of human relationships.
Five Million Feelers
According to my research, the skin is the body’s largest organ and is brimming with sensitive receptors that are in direct contact with the nervous system. There are five thousand receptors in your fingertips alone. Another five million are spread over the rest of your body. Every touch gives you a sensation, be it positive or negative. For example, a welcome hand on your shoulder helps your relax, but if you accidentally touch someone in an elevator, then your muscles automatically become tense and you avoid eye contact.
We are, in short, very sensitive creatures with sophisticated response mechanisms – even our language reflects the importance of touch: we say we are “in touch with things,” we “feel our way through”, situation that are “touch and go”, we even “put our feelers” to test the state of affairs.
Physical Contact is Healthy
If you were cuddled frequently in your childhood, chances are you are better at hugging and touching and therefore better at sustaining friendship and romantic relationships. Physical contact creates a connection and can intensify experience. Just a quick stroke of the hand can already do the trick. Psychological experiments have demonstrated that if you touch somebody, albeit briefly, that person will have a more positive view of you. He will also be more honest with you.
Furthermore, physical contact is healthy. It lowers stress levels, eases depression and pain, strengthens the auto-immune system and reduces the risk of heart and vascular disease. Everything seems to flourish under the influence of a touch. Millions of receptors in your skin directly linked to the central nervous system stimulate the brain to produce endorphins, which give you a feeling euphoria. Frequent and desired physical contact is relaxing and makes you stronger, both mentally and physically. A welcome bonus is that it also does wonders for your looks. If you’re feeling good, you’re looking good.
Who to touch and in what manner depends on personality, sex culture, education and situation. On meeting, some people like to rub their hand gently over your back, while other stick to just shaking hands. In some Asian cultures, people don’t touch at all (but in the Philippines it is all right). Physical behavior differs from one person to another and is bound by stringent rules. That makes it rather complicated.
Christian morality says it is a sin to enjoy something and the reward for self-control will come after on. People confuse intimacy with sex. Shaking hand is just about where the line is drawn. Physical contact is the exclusive domain of the partner.Out of Bounds
The social rules regarding who may touch where and when depend on the type of relationship. It goes without saying that a father may touch his daughter’s hands; reaching her shoulder or head is less accepted and the rest of her body is out of bounds. Physical contact is more accepted in regard to mothers, but again, feet, legs and chest area can be a touchy subject. Girlfriend are allowed to touch hands and forearms and, to a lesser extent, the upper arm, shoulder and legs. Again, the rest of the body is out of bounds. Naturally, couples enjoy more freedom in touching each other, but they too are not allowed to touch each other without limitation, regardless of time or place.
Although kissing is a very intimate form of touching, it is not exclusive domain of couples. It is striking that the less kisses you give, the more intimate they become. A mother will usually give her child one kiss, the same goes for couples. Instead of a handshake, an acquaintance or stranger will sometimes be kissed three times on the cheeks. And it is the third kiss that keeps someone at arm’s length.
Top Heavy
Men often suffer from a focus on the analytical part of the brain. Sometimes they are not aware of their inhibitions and shy away from physical contact.
Fact is that both men and women cannot live without physical contact. It is just more easily accepted with regard to women. They are more used to touching others and to being touched from an earlier age, and are often raised to be more considerate of others. What’s more, women generally have command of finer voluntary movements.
Boys don’t have to act tough all the time anymore. Sex as a goal, the prize worth winning, was once part of the myth of manhood, but not touching or caressing. Nowadays, it’s a different matter. Men and women have become more equal, which gives men the charge to relax.
Feedback
Sensitivity and empathy are what it is all about where physical intelligence is concerned, and quite after this precisely what is lacking. To really show interest in somebody else is an art and a lot of people don’t have the patience or the desire. You have to be able to read the signals (and they can be really subtle), take them seriously and act accordingly. Physical intelligence has to do with not overstepping a limit. Even it’s not your strong point, it can be learned. That trick is to be open. Ask for feedback and don’t be afraid to hear that something is unpleasant. Part of the trick is being able to talk about touching and being clear about what you want. Why should you be allowed to ask for an arm around you if you need one? Or to say that you don’t need that arm right now.
If your lover is not able to sense what you enjoy or need, you could just throw in the towel. But you could try talking about it. The only problem is that a lot of people still feel uncomfortable about it. Fumbling during sex often has to do with women being shy about giving directions and with men being shy about asking for them. But if you keep on having to say: a bit more to left, a bit more to the right, up, down you won’t be in the mood anymore. So it is important to try to read your partner non-verbal signs.
And finally
The importance of touching is beyond dispute. The fact is that man is a social animal and will always look for physical contact. When people flirt, they are usually very good at touching, but once they’ve hauled in the loot, they tend to forget. But we all go weak at the knees if our partner brushes our fingers for a second or two when handing over a drink.
No matter how fleeting the touch may be, it is important to cherish physical contact. Not just within a relationship, but with others too. It makes you healthy, happy and beautiful, and life becomes a lot more of fun.
I trust you enjoy reading and wish you enjoy touching!
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