10 POINTS TO MAINTAIN A FRIENDSHIP

13^th November 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I was so happy yesterday on the occasion of my birthday. My family, relatives, and a lot of friends cheer with me, sent greetings and best wishes, which I greatly appreciate!

As I was surfing the web today, I came across again of this article written by an unknown author about maintaining a friendship (in fact there are so many entries on the subject), and I feel sharing it with you all.

1. FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN GIVE TO A FRIEND, NOT WHAT YOU CAN GET OUT OF A FRIENDSHIP. - If being happy is your only motive for wanting someone to be your friend, then you are not being a real friend. Don't get caught up in keeping tabs on who has given most in the friendship. Give to your friends regardless of how much they give to you.
2. ENCOURAGE YOUR FRIEND. - Real friends inspire and push each other to be the best that they can be, rather than drag each other down. They are happy when other people achieve their goals.
3. BE WILLING TO FORGIVE. - Don't let hurt turn to grudge. This is one sure way to destroy a friendship. Forgive your friend and move on.
4. TACTFULLY POINT OUT THEIR MISTAKES. - This is one way to show concern for others. If you really care, you will tactfully point out a specific example for his own good. But once you've brought the problem to your friend's attention, don't harp on it all the time. Don't walk away from a friendship when you see some of your friend's faults. Be patient with a friend as he or she tries to change. Realize that nobody is perfect
5. BE RELIABLE. - When you say you are going to be there, be there.
6. DON'T TRY TO CONTROL YOUR FRIENDS. - Real friendship does not mean you always have to be together. It may be tempting to have a fun person all to yourself, and feel threatened when your friend ends time with others. If you are afraid to let your friends out of your sight, you are probably afraid of losing them. Good friendship will endure time spent apart. You and your friends may learn to appreciate each other even more.
7. BE THERE FOR THE GOOD AND THE BAD TIMES. - Celebrate with them if your friends are excited about something. But don't be there just for the good times. When your friend is upset about something, give them your full attention. Most of the time, what friends really need is a sympathetic ear, someone who understands their feelings.
8. LEARN TO ACCEPT PERSONALITY DIFFERENCES IN YOUR FRIENDS. - Be careful not to evaluate other people by how you react in a particular situation. Do not automatically take your friends' behavior personally.
9. DON'T BE A BLABBER MOUTH. - Learn and be willing to keep each other's secrets.
10. DON'T LET ARGUMENTS DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIP. - Suppose you're having a discussion with a friend and after you've said what you think is true, they still disagree. Don't keep arguing until you get mad with each other. Just drop it. Your desire to win the argument may ruin your friendship.

Follow the above steps and for sure you will have a good and lasting relationship with all of your friends.

Remember to appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few! Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older. Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.

Until then, my friendly regards.

BLMabeza is a netizen.

FIVE SIMPLE RULES TO BE HAPPY

14^th February 2011, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I am very happy reading the statistics of my initial blog last December 2010; my blog is being viewed globally i.e. in Vietnam, United States, Canada, Macau, Malaysia, United Arab Emirates, Australia, Switzerland, Japan and of course the Philippines.


It gives me great pleasure and I appreciate very much the comments received and those who liked the posting in my Facebook account. It is very encouraging... thus here I am again to share my thoughts with you.

As an accountant allow me to analyze the typical daily activities of a person in a significant manner and in terms of numbers and figures and events, and interpret the result thereof.

Do you know that during a 24-hour everyday cycle one will normally spend 8 hours to sleep, at least 8 hours to either work or study, thus leaving only 8 hours to be happy?  I would categorize a person’s major activities as follow: (i.) sleeping, (ii.) studying or working, and (iii.) activities to be happy.

 

According to my research in the Internet, I was led to believe that in the Philippines the male’s life expectancy could extend to over 60 years on the average; while the female’s is somehow longer to around 70 years. Well, I don’t know exactly what the reasons for the difference between the opposite sex.

To extrapolate, by using the above data, where 8 hours for each major activity as fraction of a day represents one third (1/3) thereof, you could conclude that a Filipino during his life expectancy, is sleeping for 20 years, studying and working for 20 years, and with only 20 years or even less to be happy. Lucky for the Filipina would have much longer chance to be happy.

In theory, you can compute your remaining time to be happy by using the following formula:  Average life expectancy less your present age and multiply the difference by 1/3 equals the number of remaining years to be happy.  Now that you know, you could spend it more wisely.

Please note however that the time available for you to be happy is in a fact also being diminished by some other unwanted things, e.g. the time you spent in horrendous daily traffic!  One could be stuck-in traffic for say two hours daily in going to and back from work.   It may be further reduced if after working hours, you argue or quarrel with your friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, and then you are pissed off.

But exactly how can we be happy?  There are five very simple rules and I owe it to an unknown author, whose article I have read for the first time when I was an undergrad. I liked it so much that I jotted it down in my notes at the time; in that day and age there was no Microsoft Office yet, hence no “copy and paste”. I understand the same article is now available in the worldwide web, but let me save you the time of finding it and share it with you.

 

“The Five Simple Rules To Be Happy

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the humps too long. Move on! When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you. When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard. You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to the person to realize your worth. The measure of love is when you love without measure. In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let go, the chance might never come your way again. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults, you don't look for answers, and you don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook the excuses. Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place.  

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!  Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply

4. Give more.

5. Expect less."

           

I trust the above rules make sense to all of you.

Remember that no one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. 

As an accountant I may put it this way: “Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have; so spend it wisely.”

I have shared the message and I will be back to write more…

Until then have a great day, week or month!

B L Mabeza is a former practicing external auditor in the Philippines.